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7 myths about positive parenting

Papa qui applique la parentalité positive

You’re curious about positive parenting, but after listening to your childless brother-in-law Uncle Mark spout off his opinions and reading a bunch of stuff on your friend Suzie’s social media, now you’re not so sure. Let’s break down some myths about this emerging trend.

father positive parenting

Myth 1: Positive parenting means saying “yes” all the time

False. Positive parenting means saying, “I’m listening to you, I’m here for you, all the time.” Parents who practise positive parenting aren’t spared the tantrums, the acting out or the big emotions.

No one escapes these things. No one.

Not even Kate Middleton. N.O. O.N.E.

But instead of forcing their thoughts and opinions on their little one, moms and dads who practise positive parenting take the time to put themselves in their child’s shoes and understand their point of view.

Myth 2: Positive parenting is for doormats

Hold the phone: Positive parenting is about guiding and supporting your child. You don’t need to be mean or intimidating to assert your authority; instead, you can use your bond to help your child grow. Your bond is like any other muscle—it gets stronger the more you flex it!

Myth 3: Positive parenting leads to spoiled kids

Trust me, positive parenting won’t turn your child into a spoiled brat. Again, the idea isn’t to cave into all your little angel’s demands, but to help them grow, think and develop as they navigate different situations and emotions.

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Myth 4: Supporters of positive parenting turn into their kids’ servants

Nope! Respecting your child and taking the time to understand their point of view doesn’t make you their servant. The idea is to stop seeing parenting as a relationship of superiority and focus instead on building a relationship of reciprocity. You and your child are a TEAM. You each have a clearly defined role; you’re not competitors.

Myth 5: Positive parenting creates needy kids

Worried they’ll never want to leave the nest? Don’t be! When a child is shy or reluctant to try new things, what they need is love, support and reassurance from their parent. You’ll see: Once they’ve developed their confidence and independence, you won’t be able to hold them back!

It can also be a question a personality: Some kids (and adults) are more introverted (and they’re allowed to be!). A child who feels safe and loved will develop into an independent, self-sufficient kid who’s true to themselves.

Myth 6: Supporters of positive parenting think they’re perfect parents

Perfect parents are like unicorns—they don’t exist. Positive parenting isn’t some magic formula for understanding everything about parenting. You’re allowed to make mistakes. In fact, it’s NORMAL to make mistakes.

Your child won’t be scarred for life because you blow up at them after they push you to your breaking point… Think of it as an opportunity to sit down with your little one and brainstorm ways to learn together and make your daily life more pleasant. Embrace the imperfection! You’ve earned it!

Myth 7: Supporters of positive parenting are helicopter parents

Hyperparenting is the tendency to want to do too much for your child, to shield them from being hurt or disappointed, even if it means stepping in and doing things yourself.

But positive parenting isn’t about wrapping your child in bubble wrap to keep them from experiencing anything negative. Positive parenting is about taking them by the hand and supporting them through the good times AND the bad so you can learn together. A positive parent is actually the opposite of a helicopter parent!

Now that you know positive parenting isn’t about raising spoiled kids or saying “yes” all the time, you can understand how your bond with your little one prepares them to cope with all of life’s challenges.

So, it’s a really (really, really) good idea to spend quality time with your little angel.

We suggest you check out our guide, 100 récompenses à moins de 5$, which contains tons of cool activities for you and your child!

Bibliography

Miller, M. (2019). Découvrir la parentalité positive. Éditions Trécarré.

Bourque, S. (2020). Les grandes émotions des tout-petits. Éditions Midi Trente.

Bilodeau, M. (2019). Soyez l’expert de votre bébé. Éditions Midi Trente.

Ben Amor, L., Morin, D., L’abbé, Y., Labbé, E. & Ouellet-Plamondon, C. (2019). Comportements difficiles… Que faire ? Éditions du CHU Sainte-Justine.

Claudia Turmel
Conseillère pédagogique
Véritable amoureuse des mots et de la pédagogie (et des post-its, aussi !), je déborde d’idées pour soutenir le quotidien des enfants de manière adaptée et ludique. Anciennement enseignante, je porte maintenant le chapeau de conseillère pédagogique chez Minimo. Toujours prête à aider mon prochain (et à sortir une blague !), je carbure aux défis (et au café !).